Keziah Hill

Migrating over to Wordpress...

2007-05-02T17:36:00.000+10:00

...that's if I can get it going. Having some troubles but still blogging over there.

Come on over.

Anzac Day and true romance

2007-04-25T09:12:00.000+10:00

Today is Anzac Day in Australia which commemorates the landing of the Australian and New Zealand Army Corp at Gallipoli in WW1. We have a public holiday and there are lots of commemorations across the country. It's become a big holiday of national identity, not without some controversy over the years. During the Vietnam war years and into the 80s and 90s, many people felt Anzac Day celebrated a type of hyper masculine glorification of war.

I think this resulted in a lot of reflection of the meaning of Anzac Day, so while it can still be a day of hard drinking and hard playing by a lot of blokes who've been in war, there is a bigger emphasis on mourning the dead and the cost of war. In some ways it's more of a day where we are reminded of how terrible war is. Our political masters don't ever seem to get the message.

There is a wonderful statue of a digger (a colloquial name for an Australian soldier) at the western end of Anzac Bridge in Sydney. I like it because it's sad and reflective not triumphal.

Last night on The 7.30 Report, there was a great story about Australian War Brides going to live in America after WW2. They're going to be honored with a reception at the Australian Embassy in Washington today. If you click on the link you can watch the interview with two of the brides who are now approaching ninety.

And here is a recipe for Anzac Biscuits (cookies for you in the US).

Traditional Anzac biscuits were baked by anxious wives and mothers during World War I, packed in food parcels, and sent to the Australian soldiers in the trenches. They don't have any eggs in them so they kept well. I love them. I think it's the golden syrup (or treacle).

INGREDIENTS
1 cup rolled oats
3/4 cup desiccated coconut
1 cup plain flour
1 cup sugar
125g (4oz) butter
2 tablespoons golden syrup (or treacle)
1/2 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
1 tablespoon water

Preheat oven to 300F (150C)

Mix oats, flour, sugar and coconut together.
Melt syrup and butter together.
Mix soda with boiling water and add to melted butter and syrup.
Add to dry ingredients.
Place 1 tablespoonfuls of mixture on greased tray (allow room for spreading).
Bake for 20 minutes.
Loosen while warm, cool on trays.
(makes about 35)

Hope you enjoy them!

Irritated (maybe not totally)

2007-04-23T07:25:00.000+10:00

Going through a slow period with my writing. Everything seems a struggle. At these times I have to tell myself that 100 words a day is better than nothing. And I've been reflecting on self sabotaging behaviour and delayed gratification. As a writer you need less of the former and more of the latter.

Earlier this year I didn't put in an entry to the Stroke of Midnight competition, which is the erotic romance competition run by Passionate Ink, the erotic romance chapter of Romance Writers' of America. At the time I was full of self doubt and knew the work I had needed a lot of revision. So I let it go. Now, I've done the revisions, am reasonably happy with the end result so entered another comp. Today I find out they didn't get enough entries so it's been cancelled. Very annoying.

But on a high note, Desire's Dream got 4 stars from Just Erotic Romance Reviews, so that's great.

"Ms. Hill is going to make your heart sing with the amount of passion and heat she has infused into the storyline. The sexual tension will not let you sit still."

So, swings and roundabouts. Back to my couple who are just about to get to their black moment!

ERWA blog

2007-04-20T07:20:00.000+10:00

The Erotica Readers and Writers Association has a new blog here.

Forgot the heroines!

2007-04-13T19:07:00.000+10:00

But Bron Jameson has posted her favorite heroes on her blog. If you google Thursday Thirteen you should also get a good selection of lists to cruise. What am I doing? Writing a 20k novella that I've got about 4k to go on, gearing up for revisions on my vicar and sex shop owner story, still working on the vampire menage and have about 4k written of a fantasy erotica. God knows where that came from.

Reading The Raven Prince by Elizabeth Hoyt. What are you reading?

Claiming the Courtesan

2007-04-10T18:44:00.000+10:00

I had a pretty good day today. I had an extended Easter break, wrote 1,300 words, had a massage and sat in the sun to read Claiming the Courtesan. Anna Campbell is a fellow Romance Writers' of Australia member and this is her first published book.

CtC has had a controversial release in Romancelanida with the claim that Avon has returned to the bad old days of forced seduction and bodice rippers. There's no doubt that a book where a hero rapes the heroine is bound to be controversial, particularly when this poses no irretrievable barrier for the heroine to realize her love for the hero.

You can read a run down of the plot here. I'm no reviewer so I'm only going to say I enjoyed CtC, and thought the plot and the dynamics held together well. There is a moral context to Kylemore's behavior which makes it clear he is wrong. Devastatingly wrong. And Soraya/Verity's grief about her loss of independence pulls no punches. She might love him, but she wants to be free. Kylemore's eventual redemption was plausible to me, and I loved the dramatic ending. There's a wonderful lushness to the writing as well.

All in all a most satisfying day. Pity it's work again tomorrow.

Who were those heroes?

2007-04-08T09:48:00.000+10:00

Some of you were a bit stumped so here's where they come from

1. Roarke - in my book the ultimate alpha from J D Robb's In Death series.
2. Rupert Carsington - hero as dolt. From Loretta Chase's Mr Impossible
3. Davy Dempsey - laid back sexiness from Jenny Crusie's Faking It.
4. Nathaniel Bonner - wild backswoods man from Sara Donati's Into the Wilderness series
5. Christian Jervaulx - tortured and damaged from Laura Kinsale's Flowers from the Storm
6. Mac Nighthorse - alpha as submissive. Every woman's dream. Well, mine anyhow. From Joey W Hill's Natural Law.
7. Jamie Fraser - red head and implacable from Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series.
8. Cameron Quinn - the first of the Chesapeake Blue heroes from Nora Roberts
9. Wulfric Bedwyn - the chilly brother who finally melts from Mary Balogh's Slightly Dangerous
10. Christian Montcalm - gorgeous rake from Anne Stuart's The Devil's Waltz
11. Lord Peter Wimsey - 1920's and 30's style from Dorothy L Sayers timeless crime novels
12. Guido Brunetti - Donna Leon's quizzical, philosophic Inspector from her crime novels set in Venice. His wife Paola is pretty good too.
13. Dragonstar Sunsoar - reviled outcast made good. From Sara Douglass' Wayfarer Redemption series.

There you have it. I think I'll do heroines next Thursday.

Thursday Thirteen

2007-04-05T20:25:00.000+10:00

Thirteen Things
My favorite heros

1. Roarke
2. Rupert Carsington
3. Davy Dempsey
4. Nathaniel Bonner
5. Christian Jervaulx
6. Mac Nighthorse
7. Jamie Fraser
8. Cameron Quinn
9. Wulfric Bedwyn
10. Christian Montcalm
11. Lord Peter Wimsey
12. Guido Brunetti
13. Dragonstar Sunsoar

Ok, so the last three are not really romantic heroes but I love them anyway.

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A bit frantic

2007-04-04T17:50:00.000+10:00

I've had a bit of a frantic time of late. Been promoting Desire's Dream, doing some RWAustralia duties, judging some comps and dealing with my paid work that has suddenly become overwhelming. Easter's coming and I intend to spend it reading, gardening, and hopefully getting some writing done. Not much has been happening in the last couple of weeks. I wanted to get a 25k novella finished by 22 April and maybe I will, but I need to write a lot more. But I'm going to do Barbara Samuel's Girls in the Basement online class, so hopefully that will get my creativity and writing a kick start.

And I have a MySpace page! When I wasn't writing I was tinkering around with html trying to get it to look the way I want. It isn't quite right, but I don't know how to get all the bits and pieces I want yet. A terrible procrastination tool! But go over and friend me.

Desire's Dream is now out!

2007-03-24T07:37:00.000+11:00

Yay!

The last thing Ruth Cavanaugh wants in her life is a man who thinks he can control her. So why is she having lust filled dreams about Jake Fitzgerald, a man who values control above all else? Jake can't believed prickly but sexy Ruth has invaded his dreams so thoroughly. He's happy she's there, but what can he do to convince her she's got the wrong idea about him? He has a few ideas and they all involve letting go of control once and for all. He's more than willing, but is she?

You can buy it here.

And if you join my newsletter by the end of this weekend, you go into a draw for a copy of Cream: The Best of the Erotica Readers and Writers Association edited by Lisabet Sarai. The link is to your right in the sidebar.

Have a good weekend!

Review of Ghostly Desires

2007-03-23T18:35:00.000+11:00

Last year Forbidden Publications published a short of mine called Ghostly Desires. It's a lesbian erotic romance which as a genre seems less popular in the romance world than gay male romance. Fallen Angels Review did a review of it in December that I've only just found out about! Five Angels!

This book was excellent. My only complaint is it left me wanting more ... I think the author's writing style and choice of genre is excellent. I hope to read more from Keziah Hill and I hope all of the books are just as well written and leave me craving more.
(Thanks Amanda H!)

That'll teach me to do more regular searches on myself. It all came about because Denise Rossetti posted on the RWAustralia elist that Dogpile is a better search engine than Google.

So I put my name in and up popped the review. Thanks Denise! I've written another essentially lesbian tale for eXtasy (although there's a bit of m/f action as well) called Playing with Trouble.

I'm going to write something about lesbian erotic romance on the blog soon. Do you like reading about women falling in love and having hot sex? If you do, who are your favourite authors?

2007-03-23T08:21:00.000+11:00

Thirteen Things about why I love autumn

It's Thursday somewhere in the world even though I'm late.

It’s cooler
I can do exercise and not feel like I want to die
The air in the morning is so crisp and invigorating I feel full of energy
I can wear jumpers and heavier trousers that I feel more comfortable in
I can wear scarves and shawls
The turning trees are spectacular where I live
Many roses flower again and their colour and smell is more intense
I start sleeping more deeply
As a consequence I’m more likely to have erotic dreams (yay!)
As a consequence I’m more likely to get story ideas
It’s my birthday season
It’s cooler
Did I mention it’s cooler?

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Ellora's Cavemen

2007-03-22T13:04:00.000+11:00

Ellora's Cavemen: Seasons of Seduction I

Jory Strong , Delilah Devlin , Lillian Feisty , Denise Rossetti , Allyson James , Sherrill Quinn

Hop over to Ellora's Cave and get the latest Cavemen. Two of my writing colleagues Denise Rossetti and Lillian Feisty are featured in some sizzling tales of erotic romance.

More poetry

2007-03-21T21:27:00.000+11:00

The Ache of Marriage - Denise Levertov

The ache of marriage:

thigh and tongue, beloved,
are heavy with it,
it throbs in the teeth

We look for communion
and are turned away, beloved,
each and each

It is leviathan and we
in its belly
looking for joy, some joy
not to be known outside it

two by two in the ark of
the ache of it.

Born in England and lived in America for most of her life Denise Levertov was Russian and Welsh. I love her poems.

Reading poetry

2007-03-20T07:36:00.000+11:00

I need to read more poetry. I think every writer does. It's important to get out of the rut of linear words and read something more fluid and sometimes obscure. I sat in bed last night and read some Robert Lowell and this line leapt up at me:

I want words meat-hooked from the living steer (from the Nihilist as Hero)

It's violent and horrible and expresses exactly the way I'd like words to punch the page from my mind.

Leap of Fate out now at Cobblestone Press!

2007-03-18T14:07:00.000+11:00

LEAP OF FATE by Antonia Pearce

Love, Fate and Death. Three powerful forces that rule the universe. But are they really mutually exclusive?

Available at Cobblestone-Press, LLC

What would you do with twenty-four more hours with the lost love of your life?

Merryn Porter finds out when a freak accident kills her as she saves her best friends on their wedding day. Unaware she’s dead, she’s also forgotten the bride’s brother died ten years earlier. She does remember he broke her heart.

Luke Hanson has been waiting in limbo to atone for rejecting his beloved Merryn and Fate cuts him a deal: twenty-four hours to make up for her suffering. If he succeeds, she gets another shot at life.

A miracle really, but everything has a price…

Blue Mountains Music Festival

2007-03-17T18:43:00.000+11:00

I mentioned in a previous post I wanted to see Luka Bloom at the Blue Mountains Music Festival today. Well, I did and he was wonderful. There something about men in their fifties I'm loving at the moment. They've got to some place of wry acceptance of their lives which makes them much more human and good to be with. They're now how we wanted them to be in their 20s and 30s. But they couldn't be and we were off on our own ego driven frolics. That's one of the best aspects of ageing - you do tend to let go of your ego. All the silliness you once thought was important, goes by the wayside and you're able to look at men, who once you would have been judgmental and impatient with, as humans just trying to exist on the planet, muddling along. Just like you. Just like me.

Luka Bloom falls into the category of the thinking woman's sex symbol. Along with other men like Harvey Keitel and Paul Kelly. Imperfect, fallible and irresistible. The kind of man you want to get drunk and talk with all night with before falling into bed to have clumsy, hilarious sex, then get up in the morning and take up talking where you left off. Or maybe you didn't. These kind of men talk a lot.

(BTW, go immediately to the Paul Kelly site and watch a clip of him, Kev Carmody and John Bulter sing the anthemic song From Little Things Big Things Grow - a song about aboriginal rights.)

The song Luka Bloom is most famous for (I think) is Monsoon, and he sang it while the heavens opened and drenched all those not under the marquee. I don't think anyone minded too much. That song has the effect of reducing me to a puddle anyway. And he also sang a classic Australian song by Hunters and Collectors, Throw Your Arms Around Me, another song that can reduce me to a puddle.

Other great performers where Pacific Curls, a Maori/NZ Scots women's group who were gorgeous and Kate Miller-Heidke who had the most incredible range. Sounds a bit like Kate Bush.

I'll wander up the road later and take in some more fun.

Nautilus

2007-03-16T17:56:00.000+11:00

Barbara Samuel has written a post about feathers and why they are important in her life. He blog is one of my favourites and I thank Mel for guiding me to it. I loved Barbara's column in Romance Writer's Review, the monthly magazine from Romance Writers of America so I was happy I could continue reading her wonderfully spiritual words of wisdom about writing, cooking and the other important events of life.

Her post made me think about my own talisman, the nautilus. If you look up Wiki, you'll find a post on the marine creature which is interesting, but I love the image of the nautilus as an empty shell. It's perfect, but it also looks like a puzzle or a refuge. It symbolises a traveling out and a burrowing in which I find comforting and full of possibilities.

I suppose it's a bit like me. I like to engage with the world with passion and excitement but then I have to retreat to recoup. Mars in Cancer. I'm very watery. When I'm not being a stolid, earthy Taurus.

I wrote 252 words yesterday. Better than nothing which is what I've written today. I feel a burrowing nautilus moment descending.

Psychopathy and writing

2007-03-15T08:43:00.000+11:00

I had dinner last night with a good friend who's a forensic psychologist. We were talking about psychopaths (as you do) and got onto Tony Soprano. I've only watched a couple of episodes of The Sopranos, but think I might have to have another look.

It's claimed one of the common characteristics of psychopaths is their lack of empathy and remorse. Some also say they don't experience shame. My friend and I wondered about that. We've both worked in the prison system and came across many people who could be considered psychopathic, but have quite a significant emotional life. Their emotions are chaotic, and fall into that general anti social personality disorder range, but the main thing they had in common with other people was their ability to feel shame. It's their reaction to it that sets them apart.

When most people feel shame, it's unpleasant. Maybe they've done something to hurt someone and they feel ashamed. Generally their reaction would be to feel guilt and then remorse and mostly want to make it up to the person they've hurt. They may not act on those feelings but they do feel them.

The people I worked with in the prison system felt shame if they did something hurtful to another person, but their immediate reaction was to fall into rage. They blamed that other person for their unpleasant feeling and wanted to punish or destroy them. They didn't feel guilt or remorse and certainly didn't feel the need to make reparation to the other person.

We've all come across people like that in our lives. They may not be criminals, but they have a tendency to blame others and want to punish them for making them feel ashamed for their own bad behavior. It's the reasoning behind the violent man blaming his wife or girlfriend for his violence. She bought it on herself for making him feel ashamed.

Why am I writing about this? It's good to have well rounded characters in your work, including villains. A cardboard cut out psychopath is less interesting than a psychopath who loves his mother and is fiercely protective of his family. His bad behavior is all the more shocking if we can see him as someone having complex emotional reactions that make him sympathetic.

Thursday Thirteen

2007-03-15T08:06:00.001+11:00

Thirteen Things about me at the moment

I hate block cheese
For the last few days I've had heart palpitations every time I have sugar
I'm reading Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
I've finally figured out how to put an image in a Yahoo post (it took forever!)
I need a new kitchen
I have two writing projects I'm agonising over
I worry I'll never get anything finished
My garden is out of control but does look beautiful
I really want to see Luka Bloom on Saturday at the Blue Mountains Folk Festival
A print of the Lady and the Unicorn from the Musee de Cluny is near my desk and when I'm looking for words I often stare at her
I'd like more discipline
I'd like to do more exercise
I'd like more self acceptance

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1. Amanda

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2007-03-10T18:05:00.000+11:00

I've set a Yahoo group for to send out a newsletter. It will be quarterly or when I have a new release. You can join at the link on the right or email me and I'll add you to the list. I'll run an opening competition so stay tuned!

My desk

2007-03-08T13:47:00.000+11:00

Over at Cobblestone-Mainstreet we've been posting pictures of our various desks. This is mine. It was taken at about 6.20am so it was still dark. I'd just had breakfast. Not as messy as Jenny Crusie's but not is minimalist as Lynn Viehl . I don't like the look of those wires. Must tidy them up.

I've been plugging away at one of my works in progress. Getting there, getting there. Kill your babies. That's on my mind lately. Don't fall so in love with your words or your ideas that you can't let anything go. Be ruthless.

p.s. Happy International Womens' Day!

Survey on erotica

2007-03-07T18:37:00.000+11:00

Do you read erotica? One of my favourite erotica writers remittance girl needs to know something about your erotica reading habits. It's completely anonymous and would help her complete her masters and also maybe provide some much needed information on the erotica readership. There isn't much information around. While you're there, do yourself a favour and read some of rg's stories. They're wonderful.

Thinking and writing and the Queen

2007-03-02T20:28:00.000+11:00

I've been doing more thinking than writing recently. That and reading too. I finished Emily Maguire's Taming the Beast yesterday and found it on the whole good and disturbing. It evokes emotion so to me that means a book has worked at some level. Maguire is an Australian writer and Taming the Beast is billed as an erotic work of fiction.

It is erotic in a nihilistic way, which I don't mean as a criticism, since a story about a fourteen year old girl who has a destructive, sadomasochistic affair with her English teacher, then resumes the relationship some years later, is bound to be fairly bleak. In a way it's a standard story - sexually abused girl goes on to become promiscuous and destructive, always looking for her original lover. Maguire's writing is almost good, in that there are sections that are terrific, poignant, horrifying and funny. There are other sections where she over explains, sounding a bit to much like a therapist. But I was completely engaged. She has a second book just published call The Gospel According to Luke on my TBR pile.

I've also seen The Queen which was wonderful. The actor who played Tony Blair got him perfectly. And I'll go an see anything with Helen Mirren. Of course, the real Queen and I share the same birthday (21 April) so I have instant sympathy for a fellow Taurus, even if she is obscenely wealthy and I'm a republican.

But I would like to do more writing. The problem of commitment continues.

Academic research and romance

2007-02-26T07:15:00.000+11:00

There's been a small but significant increase in academic interest in the romance genre and thankfully not from the perspective of contempt. Teach Me Tonight is always interesting, and has a link to Bronwyn Clarke's Phd research into the romance community. I've just been over to do her survey so I think you should too.

Fixed up now....

2007-02-24T16:36:00.000+11:00

...I think. It's a slow process restoring your old links. And of course it's a great procrastination tool.

Phew!

2007-02-23T20:28:00.000+11:00

Boy! Did I stuff that up! My blog design gone! Back to the drawing board!

Not living in Sydney

2007-02-22T06:08:00.000+11:00

There are days when I'm very happy not to live in Sydney. You wouldn't think so looking at this wonderful picture of the harbor with the Queen Mary 2 steaming in, would you?

We're in election mode here in NSW and the two hot issues are water and transport - or the lack thereof in both cases.

When the QM2 came into the harbor it did so at the same time as the Queen Elizabeth 2. It's not often that two ginormous cruise ships are in harbor at the same time and apparently most of Sydney turned out to see them. Major infrastructure disaster. Traffic jams all over the place because people take their cars instead of use public transport. The city was gridlocked for hours. Red faces all around and worries about today, when a whole lot of city streets are being closed because of the US Vice President Dick Cheney's arrival.

It's terrible being in Sydney when it doesn't work. It's probably terrible being in any big city when it grinds to a halt, but Sydney in February, when it's hot and humid, is a shocker. I'm so glad I don't have to negotiate that anymore!

Autumn is coming

2007-02-21T07:10:00.000+11:00

For most of my adult life I've been a gardener. I think it was my creative outlet in the years when I kept telling myself I wasn't a writer. The last year or two I've been concentrating on my writing so much, I've neglected my garden. It's as if I couldn't do both at the same time. Now that's changing. I can feel the pull of digging in the earth surge through my blood.

Autumn is a good time for gardening. Even though it's still February which is traditionally the hottest month in Australia, where I live an autumn coolness starts to flow through the morning air. It makes my hands itchy. I want to get out there and pull weeds and plant bulbs. It's still too early for that - I generally don't get my bulbs in until early April. Anzac Day on the 25 April is the very last day I plant bulbs.

Even though I've neglected my garden and we're in the worst drought in recorded history, it still produces wonders.

Like these crab apples that are so big and luscious. I missed getting a lot of them off the tree in time so the birds have had a feast, but the sight of a crimson Rosella, all blue and scarlet perched on a branch feeding is a joy to behold.

I wish I had a picture of that. But I don't so this one will suffice.

Tailspin is out!

2007-02-20T13:44:00.000+11:00

Did I mention Tailspin is out? I didn't? Slaps forehead! Get over there and buy it!

Tailspin

Denise Rossetti

Tailspin By Denise Rossetti
Book 2 in the Phoenix Rising series.

From his magnificent tawny wings to his wicked feathery tail, Miriliel the Burnished is masculine perfection.

One glance and Fledge knows she's outclassed. After all, she's a small, ordinary circus girl with no education, no looks and no prospects. Mirry's not only a warrior of the Aetherii but also a scholar of renown. Mesmerized by the power of his personality and her desire to be mastered, Fledge gives herself up for lost. But she can't help thinking if only she had wings, she'd soar with Mirry in a Mating Flight for the ages. If only…

Mirry has lots of things on his oh-so-clever mind. An ageless demon captured his friend, Janarnavriel the Noir, and it's using the dark warrior's beautiful body for a perverted playground. All Mirry has to do is rescue his friend, finish his encyclopedia and educate Fledge. By the time he's finished, she'll know how to read, write and submit for her pleasure — and his. In between, he needs to kill a deathless demon, sort out his complicated feelings for Jan and show Fledge the secret of an Aetherii orgasm.

Not to worry. He's made a list…

It's morning now

2007-02-20T07:55:00.000+11:00

Could you tell in that last post I was a little overdone? It's another day thankfully and I slept well. It's a lesson to never write a blog post when I'm tired.

One of the thoughts swirling around in my head over the past few weeks is how lucky I am. I have good friends, a busy but stimulating life and apart from the normal stresses and strains of the cycle of life where parents are coming to the end of their time on the planet, mostly everything is going OK. I just want a full day locked in my house away from every one so I can get back into the rhythm of my story and characters. It is so true that if you don't write every day, you lose track with the sense of where you're going and it takes some time to get back into the flow. Maybe Saturday will be a good day for doing that.

Overwhelmed

2007-02-19T21:47:00.000+11:00

There are some days where you get to a point of tiredness that all you can think of is rolling on the floor in a tantrum. But that would take up too much energy that I don't have. The weekend was spent in Sydney with the hard working Romance Writers of Australia Executive, having our annual face to face get together and looking at the hotel the August national conference will be held at. And that sentence ends in a preposition and I don't care.

It's gorgeous, we worked hard, talked hard and now I need another weekend to recover. I'm co-ordinating two romance writing competitions, committed myself to judging some more, have a sick mother and a slightly tense workplace (office politics - they'll get you every time). Somewhere in all that I'd like to do some writing.

I'm working on a vampire menage. Ho hum, you say. So is everyone else. Yeah, yeah, but when the characters grab you, you've just got to go. I want them to be together at the end so that means working hard to get a functioning emotional triad together.

But now I just need to finish this post so I can say I did some writing, if only to whine and go to bed. I leave you with a picture of something beautiful.

New Releases from Cobblestone Press

2007-02-16T06:52:00.000+11:00

Race over to Cobblestone Press and check out their new releases. You're in for some fun!

Big Girls Don't Die
Crystal Jordan
He demanded forever and she's running out of reasons to say no.

Six months ago, Andre St. James turned Cynthiana's life upside down by turning her into a vampire. He insists they're meant to be together forever--literally--but Cyn has her doubts.

His take-no-prisoners approach to life isn't what she calls a great foundation for a healthy relationship. When she ends up stranded on the side of the road on her way to Las Vegas for Valentine's Day, will Andre be able to come to the rescue--and convince her they can live happily forever and ever and ever after?

Love for Sale
Shelli Stevens
Going up for auction couldn’t be that bad, could it?

After her oversexed grandma talks her into signing up for the ‘Buy a Dame’ fundraiser, Jessica Davis gets a makeover and goes on the auction block. She never expected the roughly sexy man who’d buy her, or the plans he had in store.

Josh Thomas came to Leaf Island after his grandpa died to do some hard core thinking. He hadn’t planned on buying a woman for the weekend and then falling hard for her. She seems equally enamored, but will she still want him when she finds out the one thing he’s been hiding?

Jennifer McKenzie
Singled out
When love goes wrong, divine intervention may bring it right again.
When Michaela gives up on finding a soul mate, her guardian angel works overtime to bring her together with the man of her dreams.

Tim Lassiter has been wanting to get closer to Michaela, his co-worker, but she's uninteresting in fishing in the company pool. How is he going to change her mind when she views him as the jerk she works with?

With a little divine intervention, Tim and Michaela may find true love after all.

Splash out!

2007-02-15T06:04:00.000+11:00

I went to the bookshop yesterday and spent $140 on four books. Two were by Emily Maguire an Australian writer I've wanted to read for ages - Taming the Beast and The Gospel According to Luke; one was A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian by Marina Lewycka and the last, the tome, the book that grabbed me by the throat and said "Taking me home, darling!" in an upper class English accent with slight American tones was Decca - The Letters of Jessica Mitford edited by Peter Y Sussman.

I love the Mitfords. I'll read anything about them. My mother steered me in the direction of Nancy Mitford's novels when I was a gel, so Love in a Cold Climate and Highland Fling were among my favorites. When I read the first volume of Jessica Mitford's autobiography Hons and Rebels I was hooked even more.

Somehow the idea of a family of landed gentry that produced a noted wit, a Nazi, a fascist, a communist and a Duchess is something I just can't get enough of. There are biographies of all the Mitford sisters except maybe Pam who sounds like she was the stay at home one.

Jessica, of course, was my favorite. Setting up a running away from home account at a bank and actually doing it at eighteen to go fight in the Spanish Civil War, then marry her love and emigrate to America where she became a communist and a muckraking journalist sounds like quite a life.

So the tome is settled on my bedside table to dip into at night before sleep. I have so much to read at the moment but a dip into the real words of a lost era is an absolute treat.

Insight

2007-02-06T17:51:00.000+11:00

I had this great insight into my writing woes today that was a wonderful example of why belonging to a writers group is a good idea.

I have trouble writing long. I get to about 15 or 20K and it all starts to fall apart. I have always thought it a planning problem, that I need to get organised, get a proper plotting process going (I still think that would help). But the wonderful Anna Campbell suggested it might be a commitment and /or fear problem.

How surprising! Me? Fear? Me? Lack of commitment?

Talk about hitting the nail on the head.

Then on the list was a discussion on the need to work through those times when you lose faith with what you're doing and the temptation to start a new exciting story rears it's ugly head. Several people talked of all those unfinished 15k stories under their beds.

I know, I know, it's been said thousands of times before, but this is where writing reams of crap is essential. Where giving yourself permission to write with nowhere in mind is important. Just keep plugging away. How many times do I have to read that until I believe it at a cellular level?

Many more I'm sure.

But at least I'll have my writing mates to remind me.

Chipping the story from a rock

2007-02-04T16:13:00.000+11:00

I'm writing something at the moment that starts out in a way that everyone says is instant boredom. Introspection, back story, no dialogue and no action. I keep going over and over the first four pages to try and inject some vim and verve, but no go. That woman wants to lie in bed, masturbating and thinking of of her past sexual exploits. They are pretty wild sexual exploits involving public sex, but it somehow it needs more excitement. Grumble, grumble, grumble.

New Stores at ERWA

2007-02-03T20:02:00.000+11:00

I have a new story at ERWA called Dutch Masters. Strawberry Flavoured Joy has been added to the Treasure Chest and so has The Second Coming.

Hope you enjoy!

Fiddling again

2007-02-01T15:47:00.000+11:00

I mucked up the template of my last blog, so I've gone back to another template. I like the green swirl though so I'll still try and work out how to put my own banner on the top. I could ask someone to do it for me, but like the lawnmower, I just have to do it myself.

Tagged

2007-01-30T17:48:00.000+11:00

Actually, I wasn't but I like it so much I'm going to do it anyway.

1. Grab the book closest to you.
2. Open to page 123, look down to the 5th sentence.
3. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog.
4. Include the title and the author’s name.
5. Tag 3 people

And all the time the bell kept sounding its gentle lamentation on the air. The reiterated chimes sent the young woman's thoughts roaming among old memories of her childhood and schooldays. She remembered the altar at the convent, the tall candlesticks that dwarfed the flower-vases and the tabernacle with the little columns.

Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert

I'm tagging Ember, Emma and Nancy.

Back on Track

2007-01-30T07:57:00.000+11:00

Well, the lawnmower got fixed and is working well and I've put a considerable dent in my current wip which is all to the good. But I've realised I'm bad at Book in a Week or Book in a Month marathons. The promise of them always drags me in, but then I get panicked that I don't do enough and get overwhelmed and jealous of how much other people do.

It's a writing style that just doesn't suite me. I do some editing as I go and I've finally worked out I need to do that to feel connected to my writing. So I'm slow but getting consistent. I wanted to have this 25k novella finished by 31 January but I'm about 3,000 words behind my goal. Not too bad. The first week of February I'll spend finishing it and starting the revisions which is where I add another couple thousand. Then it's birthday week in my family. Aquarians all over the place.

On being a spinster

2007-01-20T19:55:00.000+11:00

There are some days you should never try to do anything requiring thought. Particularly anything involving mechanics. Particularly when it's 32 degrees centigrade. You should just eat ice cream and drink beer in front of the television with the tennis on. Those muscled, fleet footed boys are great to watch in the heat, especially when running around is the last thing on your mind.

But I succumbed to guilt. I'm a gardener, but my garden has been neglected lately and I've always resisted getting a lawn mower. I usually pay someone to mow. In a sudden rush of blood to the head, I went and bought one, thinking it was false economy to fork out fifty bucks a pop for a mow every three weeks or so in summer.

So I bought it home, assembled everything and read the instructions. I dressed sensibly in tracksuit pants, Blundstones (who've just announced they're closing down their Tasmanian factory and moving off shore, the rotters. Boycott Blundstones!) and waited to the cool of the day.

You know what's coming don't you?

I poured oil into the fuel tank.

Sigh. There are days when having a husband looks like a good deal. Not for the sex, not for the intimacy (although that would be fine too), just for the lawn mowing.

Generally, I like being a spinster. As writer, I see myself as a spinner of tales, a crone, a wild woman so I don't mind the term. And I like living alone. But on days like these, I'd just want someone to mow the lawn.

New web site

2007-01-14T22:19:00.000+11:00

I've decided to go very minimalist with my web site. Cool green and white. And here is my new cover from Cobblestone Press! Just perfect. Don't know when it will be out, but I'll sure let you all know.

I wrote a story recently where the main character took me to a place I didn't want to go. It started out light, but she kept wanting to go to a place that was darker and more angst filled. As I was writing I realised she was a country girl and was tramatised by drought. I think we're all traumitised by drought at the moment. I can't remember it being this bad. It feels like it will never be any different, that climate change is with us for good, and this is not just a bad phase.

This issue is coming out in some other stories I'm writing too. I wonder if we'll see more apocalyptic work being published influenced by climate change?

Sold to Cobblestone Press!

2007-01-08T21:10:00.000+11:00

The New Year is looking up! I sold a story to Cobblestone Press. I'd been working on it for a while, teasing it around until I thought it was right. It's an erotic romance story about two people who have to get over their preconceptions about each other.

It's good to have a kick forward like this. It makes me keen to start on a some other projects. My book of the heart is still swirling around in my head so I think I'll have to write it so I can move onto something else, even though some people think it's unsellable. At the moment I'm working on it so I can move forward on a better understanding structure and plot.

Happy New Year!

2007-01-01T10:05:00.000+11:00

It's the New Year already and after a little to much of the grape last night I'm not exactly hung over but a little fragile. I hope what ever the New Year brings you is full of light, laughter and love. That's what I want for myself!

Just lately I'm finding myself being irritable on the variety of writing lists I'm on (New Years resolution, cut them right down). I feel bad tempered and cross with everything I'm reading. It's usually an indication that I'm not writing enough and reading too much of one thing. I feel the need for a good biography or some history. Something that's not fiction. I have Thomas E Ricks Fiasco:The American Military Adventure in Iraqi sitting on my coffee table, so a meaty tome might be good for me.

The day before New Years Eve

2006-12-30T22:15:00.000+11:00

It's raining here, which is wonderful. If it would only rain solidly for two or more weeks, the dams would fill up and we'd all feel happier. We might all be stir crazy at the end of two weeks but that's a small price to pay.

This is the time of year when resolutions are in the air. I've made a few and I always have heaps more buzzing in my head. I tend to see them as shaking fingers, pointing at me like nasty school marms. "You will loose weight!" "You will write 1,000 words a day!" "You will do more gardening!"

Eh, I probably won't do any of that or do them intermittently. But the one thing I will try my hardest to do, is obliterate pointing fingers from my mental landscape. I never change my behavior when I have a punitive voice in my head telling me I MUST do whatever it's telling me to do. That doesn't mean no discipline or focus, but as soon as I start berating myself for being human, I need to pull back and get some perspective. That's what I need for 2007, more perspective.

Romance Diva Blogs

2006-12-29T17:32:00.000+11:00

A list of romance writers who hang out at Romance Divas

Kimberly Holt-Whitlock

Paranormality Universe

Wendy Wootton/Portia Da Costa

Zeek's Page

My 2006 Reading in Review

2006-12-29T11:32:00.000+11:00

My mother got much sicker but now she's better. I hope she's passed her genes onto me! And I hope you all had a great festive season.

I keep a diary of what I read in the year. I usually put a one word description next to the title to remind myself what I thought of the book. This year, not surprisingly, I read a lot of romance but more surprisingly, not much erotic romance. What I did read, I didn’t like much. There is a sameness about erotic romance and not much risk taking. I mean risk in relation to story and characterization not in relation to unusual sex. When I read a book like Judith Ivory’s Black Silk or Susan Elizabeth Phillip’s Fancy Pants, which are romances full of complexity and interest, with well depicted characters full of human flaws, I go looking for those stories in the erotic romance world and don’t see them. It makes me think about what I'm writing and I see I'm not taking many risks either.

There is a belief that erotic romance is about fantasy and readers don’t want reality, but that’s been said about romance too. But in fact there is a wide range of types of romances out there from sweet category to more realistic slice of life romances. I think it’s time erotic romance started to get more diverse and interesting. Alpha males with washboard stomachs and big cocks start to all blend into each other as do feisty dames who suddenly develop the desire for anal sex and submission. Where’s the humor? Where are the interesting plots? Why can't erotic romance engage with the real world in the way that good romance does? Not that I have anything against fantasy but when I hear over and over again that only alpha males have a place in erotic romance, I know it's becoming stale and moribund.

The following books are ones I put an excellent or very good against. I read a lot more that I thought were good, but these ones, for me, were just that bit better. You can see that 2006 was a catch up year for me. I read a lot of romances that were published in the 1990's and early 2000's. And I seem to like historicals more than I thought I did.

Romance
Black Silk, Judith Ivory
Beast, Judith Ivory
Untie my Heart, Judith Ivory
The Lions Daughter, Loretta Chase
Lord Perfect, Loretta Chase
Flowers from the Storm, Laura Kinsale
Passion, Lisa Valdez
Fancy Pants, Susan Elizabeth Phillips
The Devil’s Waltz, Anne Stuart
The Diamond Secret, Ruth Wind

Literary
We Need to Talk About Kevin, Lionel Shriver
Lolita, Vladimir Nabokov
Brooklyn Follies, Paul Auster
Unless, Carol Shields
Bell Canto, Anne Patchett

Fantasy/Paranormal
The Northern Lights, Philip Pullman
The Compass Rose, Gail Dayton
Daughter of the Forrest, Juliet Marillier
Shadow Touch, Marjorie M Lui
Lynn Viehl's Darkyn Series

Crime/mystery/suspense
Rubdown, Leigh Redhead
Monkeewrench, PJ Tracey
Black Ice, Anne Stuart
Origin In Death, J D Robb

Erotic Romance
Almost a Gentleman, Pam Rosenthal
Ice Queen, Joey Hill

And a small book that probably fits into the horror genre "Come Closer" by Sara Gran.

What did you like?

So far the festive season leaves a lot to be desired

2006-12-18T09:31:00.000+11:00

I'm racing to finish a whole lot of work at my paid work, I have developed a horrible cold, I'm co-ordinating two writing comps for RWAustralia and my mother is in hospital. On the other hand, I now have to rest which means lots of reading, and I went to a party on Friday night and caught up with some friends I haven't seen in a long time. If I can just get over this cold and it doesn't develop into anything worse, I'll breeze into the holidays between Christmas and New Year and can spend some time with my Mum.

Writing is in fits and starts and for the first time in a long time my inability to get to the computer has to do with lack of time not lack of motivation.

I'm reading The Best of Best of Womens' Erotica edited by Marcy Sheiner and enjoying it immensely. I've also recently finished Carol Sheild's Unless which is a great novel about women and marginalisation. That sounds terribly earnest, but it's not like that at all.

Now I'm going to do some comfort reading and laze on the couch with Linda Howard.

Re design

2006-12-17T19:40:00.000+11:00

I feel the need for more light and less clutter. Something about the new year. Stay tuned while I tweak.

Meandering around writing

2006-12-04T21:03:00.000+11:00

It's been a while but I've had a break from keeping this blog and a rethink about what I'm writing. But now I'm getting refocused. Having dipped my toes in the world of being published, I've retreated so I can get some perspective.

I write first and foremost for myself. That has to come first or else I become unhappy. Basically, I've spent the last year, writing wise, being unhappy because I haven't been writing for myself. That might be a luxury and it might mean I may never be published again, but the pain of writing flat, soulless nonsense can't go on.

So it's back to filling the well with things other than writing. Or in my case not writing but agonizing about writing. Life's short, you either do it or you don't.

Cream: The Best of the Erotica Readers and Writers Association is available now from Amazon and my story is the first cab off the rank. It's a considerable thrill and will be even more so when my copy arrives in my post box.

This December/January I also have a story Strawberry Flavoured Joy , up at the ERWA site, which is the first story I've written in ages.

So those writing muscles are flexing again.

Ghostly Desires out now!

2006-10-14T13:01:00.000+10:00

My short, Ghostly Desires is out now at Forbidden Publications.

Thea thinks a resident ghost is the perfect addition to the ramshackle mansion she’s inherited from her eccentric uncle. But sexy Judith, a ghost from her past, wants to upset her plans. Thea's not worried. She’ll just get Judith into bed and win her over. Judith however has other ideas . . .

Uncommon frost

2006-10-10T08:03:00.000+10:00

I've spent the last week or so in Melbourne at a conference and tootling around. Melbourne is great for shopping but this time I restrained myself. Well, sort of. I can't resist buying books where ever I am, so I did lash out with a trip to Borders at Carlton.

This is my to be read pile.

I didn't buy it all at Borders. Some of them have been there for quite a while. I reorganised them the other day, so I can see clearly how many crime, how many fantasy or paranormal or how many contemporary I have. Somehow that's made it more manageable because I can plan ahead.

At the moment I'm in the middle of a month long writing challenge at RWAOnline, the online chapter of Romance Writers of America. Next week I'll also be doing BIAW with RWAustralia. The idea is to write intensively for a week or a month without an internal editor on your shoulder.

This morning I got up all keen to go and found I had no hot water. For a while it looked like no gas as well. But I ignored it all and wrote 200 words which given my output at the moment is a miracle. Then I thought I'd have to start ringing the gas company but gave my heater another go. It was on! And the hot water too! Mad dash to the shower before something else happened and thankfully my story fell into place under the wonderful warmth.

There was a frost here this morning which might have something to do with my gas woes. Frost a common where I live but we've had such a mild winter and spring I think the pipes forgot to cope. One of the small effects of global warming.

I got Cover Snarked!

2006-09-30T17:47:00.000+10:00

I suppose it's a badge of honour to be Cover Snarked. In the ebook world there are lots of web sites ready to take the piss out of ebook covers.

This one and Smart Bitches are the most famous. Ah, well. You have to have a sense of humour about all this and really, it is pretty funny.

I seem to be getting a bit of a rep as publishing lesbian romantic erotica and while I do like lesbian erotica, that's not all I write.

I'm working away at a fantasy novella. The idea for it came in one of those half asleep states, which is where I get a lot of my ideas. I've never done world building before so it's a good writing exercise for me. One of the problems with it, which is becoming increasingly clear, is that the hero is too good. Even I want to slap him and muss him up, give him some dark, hidden secret. Maybe like this:

This is a photograph of Max Dupain an Australian photographer. It was taken by Olive Cotton, his then wife, probably in the 1930s. She was also a well know Australian photographer. I've always found it incredibly erotic.

Another ebook to buy!

2006-09-29T06:14:00.000+10:00

Isle of Desire
by Eden Bradley

Is it really possible to fulfill the fantasy of a promise made in the passion of youth? On a beach on the small Venezuelan island of Isla de Margarita, Isabel Asher meets once more the love of her life, Rafael Cruz, the man she left behind twelve years earlier. Desire ignites, but can the sultry tropical nights spent in his bed lead them back to love? She’s about to find out, and maybe to have her heart broken in the process.

Available September 29th from Cobblestone Press

I met Eden in Atlanta and she's a terrific person. A Romance Diva and soon to be published with Berkley. And if you go to her blog she's got this cute promo video for Isle of Desire.

Go and buy Gift of the Goddess!

2006-09-28T06:08:00.000+10:00

Do yourself a favour. Run, not walk (cyberly speaking) over to Ellora's Cave and buy Gift of the Goddess by Denise Rossetti. Denise is one of the few Oz Ellora's Cave writers and I've read bits of this. It's hot. Great story and good writing too. And she has a cover to die for.

Reading and writing

2006-09-27T07:47:00.000+10:00

Now that I've finished The Story of O, one of the aspects of it that no one mentions much is it's lesbian undercurrent. O is very keen to have sex with other women. She experiences herself as powerful in those moments unlike her experiences with Rene or Sir Stephen where her experience is more to do with freedom and liberation.

Which of course is the essential dichotomy of BDSM. Nearly everyone who writes about their experiences talks about the sense of freedom, of having the space to be truly who they are. I've blogged about this before and still remain fascinated by the spiritual links between pain and sex. Must be the ex Catholic in me.

I've also been reading Gail Dayton's The Compass Rose, a romantic fantasy from Luna. I liked it so much it's inspired me to write a fantasy novella. I'm about 3,000 words in, so I'll see how it goes.

Good Intentions

2006-09-24T16:15:00.000+10:00

Every now and then I vow to eat well, get fit and generally shape up. Today I decided a walk with friends in the bush would be just the ticket. After all I live in a World Heritage listed National Park, so I should get out there and commune with nature.

It's not a great day here today. Very hot for September (the bushfire season has started early) and very windy. But after some planning, my friends and I decided to go for a walk at Blackheath. The first part was a short, flat walk along a creek that had recently been cleaned up by, I assume, the local bush care group. It looked great with little waterfalls and black cockatoos in the trees over head.

But me being me, I of course took a tumble and ended up with a cut and bruised knee. That wouldn't be so bad but then I had to walk 750 meters straight up to get to Govetts Leap. It nearly killed me.

I exaggerate of course. In fact I had a great sense of achievement and sat at the lookout gazing at this.

Yes, it is very green. We've had some heavy rain in the last few weeks but essentially we're in drought. We also haven't had a big burn since 2002/2003 so everyone's expecting this year will be bad. A great reminder to me to back up all my writing on a memory stick everyday.

But for now I'm reclining on a couch reading The Story of O.

Fantasy v reality

2006-09-22T07:59:00.000+10:00

Lately I’ve been pondering a range of issues to do with POV in writing. Not just first, second, third or omniscient but more about identification and imagination.

Gay male erotic romance written by women for women is growing in popularity. I’ve never been all that turned on by it because I can’t visualise myself in that relationship. I can’t see myself having sex with a gay man or two gay men. And I realise as a reader that’s what I want to do – insert myself, however ghostly, into the story. It’s not a conscious process, but I think it’s an important part of my reading experience.

So while I can read a gay male erotic romance and enjoy the quality of the writing and the story, I can’t feel terribly aroused by it.

Lots of women can make that imaginative leap. Which brings up the whole notion of sexual identification and preference. Most people have a sexual identification - gay, straight or bisexual. But the shifting and changing in their imaginative lives is a lot more complex.

In discussing male/male erotica with women who like it and get sexually turned on by it, it’s pretty clear they are sexually attracted to gay men. In their fantasies they see themselves as part of that sexual/emotional world. It doesn’t matter that it’s extremely unlikely that in reality they would ever be, or want to be in such a relationship, in their imaginative fantasy lives, that’s what they like.

I don’t know why I’m so surprised by this. After all, I have a range of sexual fantasies myself that I’m unlikely to ever act on (some would be physically impossible). I think it has something to do with reciprocity. I’m not interested in sexual fantasies where the players are not interested in me. Total narcissism on my part.

Now when it comes to female/female erotic romance, that’s a whole other issue. And again, one I find fascinating. There is no growing popularity among the predominantly female erotic romance reading world for female/female erotic romance even though realistically, their access to sex and love with women is more possible than with gay men.

When I talk about this to women, they all say the same thing – they are just not turned on by women. Which only goes to show - and you may think this obvious and me a slow learner, that reality and fantasy have virtually nothing in common. Which I find comforting.

Why comforting? I often struggle with internalised political correctness. It's part of my history as a feminist. My move into adulthood came at a time when feminism was in a strident phase. It was necessary I think, because there was a lot to fight and be concerned about (there still is). But there's no doubt that a lot of women got strong messages their sexual imaginative lives were wrong or worrisome if they strayed too far from consensual reality. So no rape fantasies, no BDSM and no wanting to fuck gay men!

I need to be constantly reminded that fantasy is fantasy and a rich part of the internal lives of most people. And in the end wonderfully fascinating.

Here's a picture of a story of mine soon to be published at Forbidden Publications. Yes, it's female/female erotic romance.

Another Aussie writer published!

2006-09-07T17:57:00.000+10:00

Members of Romance Writers of Australia are having a good run lately. Today my friend and crit partner Paula Roe got The Call (or the email in her case) from Silhouette wanting to publish her book The Wife He Never Knew in their Desire line. Paula's been writing for about fifteen years and is a great example of persistence paying off. I've read bits and pieces of her book and if you like Desires you'll like her story. Congratulations Paula!

Life does tend to get in the way

2006-09-05T18:45:00.000+10:00

I was going to post something about the intimacy of the net and how it's a mixed blessing. In the writing world if your favorite author (or even a few you read now and then) maintains a blog, the opportunities for conversation are more immediate than they ever have been. Pre the www, if you liked an author, you might write a fan letter via their publisher. Nowadays you can find their blog and chat away about all and sundry.

And then there are the review sites and commentary sites and bloggers who don't hold back about what they think. Over at All About Romance there's a summary of the great flame wars over the past few years.

I'm not sure what I think about all this. Part of me finds it distasteful and trivial and another part is highly entertained by it all. I also put my oar in every now and then.

But on the whole I'd rather read then participate. I like that romance takes itself seriously but occasionally it takes itself too seriously.

And in the end there are other matters that occupy my time. Last night I had dinner with friends and of the three of us, two had fathers in hospital, one's mother had just come out of hospital and the partner of one was overseas visiting her father in intensive care.

We are all at an age when the mortality of parents looms large. Tends to put things in perspective.

On a lighter note, for a writer of erotica and erotic romance my blog is very dull. So I thought I'd post an image of one of those sexy vintage ladies. They are so much more alluring than the plastic barbie dolls of today.

New stories

2006-08-30T20:08:00.000+10:00

I've posted a couple of links to some new stories at my web site. Gardening with Grace and Angel.

Back soon when I get my thoughts together about blogging, the intimacy of the net and some interesting stuff I've been reading.

Really back this time

2006-08-20T10:07:00.000+10:00

Boy oh boy, there's nothing like having a small cold develop into full blown bronchitis. I came home from the US on 7 August, with a tickle in my throat, went up to the Gold Coast for the Romance Writers of Australia annual conference on 10 August and by the time I got home on the 14th I was ready for bed where I stayed for most of the week. The only good think about the whole experience was obsessively reading. The huge pile of books I bought in the US or had given to me at the Atlanta and Gold Coast conferences has reduced somewhat.

What did I read?
Too Little Lies by Liz Carlyle. I love LC. I'm a sucker for sensual historicals and this didn't disappoint.

The Perfect Stranger by our own Aussie Anne Gracie. The third in the Perfect series. Great sick bed reading. Great reading any time actually.

Live Bait and Dead Run by PJ Tracy. A mother daughter team writing crime based in Minnesota. Quirky and fun.

Montana Sky by Nora Roberts. I like Nora, she rarely disappoints.

Private Demon by Lynn Viehl aka Paperback Writer. I started reading her Darkyn series in the US and am hooked.

Shadow Touch by Marjorie M Lui. Another series I started in the US. I find her writing very unusual with settings outside the US. This one was set mainly in Russia.

Below is a pic of soon-to-be-published-by-Avon Aussie author Anna Campbell accepting the Golden Heart for soon-to-be-published-by-Berkely Aussie author Christine Diehm writing as Christine Wells. The Golden Heart is an award for the best unpublished manuscript given out by the Romance Writers of America. Christine won it for the Best Short Historical. It was a great night.

Real life

2006-08-09T15:04:00.000+10:00

International travel is so bad for your health. I have a cold and my neck has gone into spasm, the result of bad pillows and schelping around heavy bags. I feel like another holiday to get over it.

But I did have a great time. America is such a diverse country. There's a lot to love and a lot to hate.

I loved:
New York. Even when it's hot and humid it's a blast. Everything is always open and buzzing. I met up with Ishmael Goat and D L King, both writers from ERWA over DL's fabulous guacamole. They were wonderfully hospitable. It was so great to chat about a whole range of subjects with like minded people.

Then I was fortunate to spend the next three days with an old friend who took me around the place. We went to museums, shopped, ate and generally had a great time, even though it was in the midst of a record breaking heat wave. It's a great town.

So is Chicago. I went with my sister and her partner and we spent the weekend we were there shopping, listening to jazz and eating. I bought lots of books which are so much cheaper in the States. The weather was great and the people friendly. In fact, Americans are wonderfully friendly. Sure, there was a lot of insincere "have a nice day"s thrown around, but on the whole they were great.

Not sure about Atlanta. I was at the Romance Writers of America conference and so didn't get to see much of the city.

What I hated:
The food and the coffee. You wouldn't think it from what I've said above but it was often hard to get good food. I guess it probably always is when you travel and maybe I just didn't know where to go, but there is an absence of good cafe food. It's either bad fast food or more up market expensive food. There didn't seem to be much in between. And the portions were huge!

Starbucks seems to be the only place to get espresso and then I had to ask for a triple shot so I could taste the coffee. Maybe it would have been different if I'd got to Little Italy in NYC.

The RWA conference was a mixed bag. On the whole the workshops were mediocre but the sessions with publishers, editors and agents were great. I didn't do enough networking because I'm fundamentally shy around people I don't know. I always feel awkward, like the person who hasn't quite worked out the rules.

It was terrific meeting a whole range of people I'd been chatting to over the net though. The Passionate Ink lunch at the Aquarium was fantastic. The look on the face of the guy behind the bar as a speaker after speaker talked in fairly graphic ways about the popularity of erotica was a delight to behold. He had a great time.

Our Christine Diehm writing as Christine Wall won a Golden Heart for Best Short Historical and while I was away she was signed up by Berkley. So keep and eye out for her. She's a terrific writer.

So is Karen Schwartz writing as Anna Campbell. She's been signed by Avon and will be out next year. It's been a good year for Aussie romance writers.

Now I'm off to the Romance Writers of Australia conference on the Gold Coast. I'll be back on Monday ready to start real life again. Back to work and back to writing.

I'm baaack!

2006-08-07T17:51:00.000+10:00

I'd hoped to do some posting while I was in the US, but life and good times took over. Los Angeles, Indiana, Chicago, Atlanta and New York. I met a whole lot of people I've been chatting with on line which was terrific. I like America even though it was incredibly hot. Going to the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island on one of the hottest days in living memory was quite an experience.

And I've come back to see my story Playing with Trouble is now available at eXtasy. I hope you buy it and enjoy it! When I get myself unpacked and organised I'll post some more about my American trip.

In the USA

2006-07-18T21:33:00.000+10:00

I've been here since Friday 14 July. First went to LA, now in the midwest visiting relatives. Then I'm on to Atlanta on 25 July. So I won't post much until then because my internet connection won't always be so reliable.

I liked LA, even though it was 108 degrees F. Kathleen Bradean my tour guide and fellow ERWA writer, describes our experience of searching for Valentino's grave wonderfully. She was the perfect hostess. Lots of interesting information and history of the place, as well as suggesting a great mix of things to do. Finishing off with a martini at The Abbey was just right. Thank you Kathleen!

Sold to Extasy!

2006-07-10T17:43:00.000+10:00

I'm seriously happy! I sold a long short story to Extasy. It's working title is Playing with Trouble. Don't know when it will be out but my writing life is definitely looking up. It comes at the same time as a few craft issues seem to have fallen into place in my mind too. I've let go of a lot of fear of getting things wrong and actively tell myself to write for my characters and myself, not for a mythical audience. It seems to be working.

Website up!

2006-07-07T07:32:00.000+10:00

That was easier than I thought it would be! The transfer from my previous host to Go Daddy was a nightmare so I thought this would be too.

Mercury is retrograde at the moment which tends to mean bad communication and misunderstandings, which in this digital age means lost computer files. So back up your work.

Changing web site

2006-07-06T12:50:00.000+10:00

I'm changing my web site over to Go Daddy so it might be off line for a few days until I can work out how to get everything going. I'm a bit of a dill about all this stuff.

News and music

2006-07-04T07:10:00.000+10:00

I have a story called Gardening with Grace up at the erotic ezine Oysters and Chocolate. It'll be there for a month. Another story Angel has been added to the Treasure Chest at ERWA. So I'm happy.

I was thinking the other day that I hardly listen to music anymore. I'm one of those people who can't have music on when I'm reading or writing. I have to really listen to it, so I find it completely distracting. But someone had some Mozart on a few days ago and I realised how much I missed it.

I've cut out quite a few thing from my life since I've been writing seriously and I'm not sure I need to. I don't miss television at all, but I do miss music and other visual experiences like film or galleries. And I've become shockingly sedentary.

So I need to change this. It makes for a limited life experience which is not good for a writer anyway. Although I'm wary of goals, I'm going to try to do two things, listen to music when I come home from work and work on building my abdominal muscles so my back doesn't hurt so much. Both good non writing goals.

I have the day off today and it's cold, wet and misty outside. So a good day for pottering around the house and doing some exercise with Mozart on.

Ups and downs

2006-06-23T07:30:00.000+10:00

What a roller coaster the last half hour has been! Australia tied 2 all with Croatia in the Soccer World Cup which means we go onto the second round. We play Italy next. This a fantastic result given soccer in this country is just getting on its feet after years of division and lack of focus.

But then I came back to my computer to browse my favourite blogs to find Magdelena over at Myths and Metawhores has been vandalised. What bastards there are in the world! Lena is a sex blogger with a strong spiritual bent and I loved her lyrical posts on life. She says she'll be back and I hope she will. Many hugs to you Lena.

Kathleen Bradean also reports on some nasty blogger behavior at her site. I had a blogger lift something from me once and it was almost impossible to get Blogger to do anything about it. In the end I think the blogger in question decided to take off my and a few other writers work from his/her site without any intervention from Blogger.

But on another up, check out the contents and contributors to CREAM which will be out in August. My story is first cab off the rank! It's such a thrill.

Take a quiz

2006-06-19T16:57:00.000+10:00

Which of Henry VIII's wives are you?
this quiz was made by Lori Fury
I'm appalled that a silly quiz could be so accurate - sigh. I'm a Taurus too.

Fear and the need to keep going

2006-06-19T07:15:00.000+10:00

I'm getting a lot out of The Writing Coach (thanks Jacqui). I needed a reminder about fear.

The moment we allow our fears of the value judgments of others to affect our work, we are lost as writers.

and

If you don't allow yourself to write regularly because you fear writing badly, then you will certainly write badly. Not writing ensures you will be permanently disengaged from your work.

(Both quotes from Day One on The Writing Coach blog).

I'm working on a short story at the moment and it's not going so well. This is the point to either work through it or abandon it. Part of the problem a lack of the senses. As I write this, realise I need to go back and put my protagonist into the physical world. I have a vision of him standing in a dim study watching the dust motes drift on a pale stream of sunlight while someone lectures him on the need to avoid the pleasures of the flesh.

There is a hint of desperation in the lecturing voice which makes my protagonist's skin prickle with anticipation. And so it goes.

Australia lost 2-0 to Brazil. Not so surprising. Next game is against Croatia.

Good news!

2006-06-13T07:45:00.000+10:00

I sold a short story called Ghostly Desires to Forbidden Publications! Don't know when it's coming out but I'm so thrilled.

To top it off, Australia won 3-1 against Japan in the Soccer World Cup! We were down 1-o until the 84th minute then scored three goals in the last 6 minutes. It's the first time we've had a team in the World Cup in 32 years and first time we've ever scored.

Good news day!

Good advice

2006-06-04T12:22:00.000+10:00

Over at Murder She Writes guest blogger J Carson Black posted this. I've probably read this advice in different ways over the years but some combination of words made this version hit home for me. More and more I've had to get back to writing work that gives me pleasure and not what I think will give other people pleasure. Which isn't to say I'll be off in some tower somewhere writing only for myself, but means I'm working fairly single mindedly at the moment on writing stories with a voice that comes naturally for me rather than a voice that I think other people want to hear.

This is good. This is what I need to do. And in the end being true to myself will make my writing better.

It's not summer here

2006-06-02T18:48:00.000+10:00

I keep reading all these posts about summer in the Northern Hemisphere and what people are going to read while they're on vacation. I have to tell you folks, it's bloody freezing where I am. There's sleet in the air and it's dark and miserable. All the more reason to read and write I guess.

My story is still going slowly but surely. I'm reading Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters and finishing off Best New Erotica 2004.

I'm also checking out the blog of Jacqui Lofthouse, and English writer who's running a writing coaching service through her blog. She has an approach I like. I need constant reminders to sink into the pleasure of writing and not make it a rod for my back. She seems to think that's a good idea too.

Slow but sure

2006-05-27T12:04:00.000+10:00

Doing a consistent amount of writing so I haven’t been here much. And I’m also trying to cut down my time browsing the internet. There are, however, a lot of interesting blogs to read including Smart Bitches who’ve had a great series of posts and debates about what’s in the head of writers when they write.

I completely identified with what Laura Kinsale posted, experiencing the effect of the internet as often killing my writing. There is so much out there, so many opinions, beliefs, fallacies as well as useful, wise words. But all of those voices clamour in my head and sometimes paralyse me. I’ve vowed to control the amount of time I browse and have managed to cut it down, but not to a level I’m comfortable with.

My good news is that a short story of mine, “Gardening with Grace” will be appearing in the erotic ezine Oysters and Chocolate in July. I send it off months ago and didn’t hear anything so was thinking of sending somewhere else when they contacted me. I’m thrilled. I’ll have a story coming out in August in Cream: The Best of the Erotica Readers and Writers Association (here's the cover below- isn't it great?)and my story "Angel" will go into the Treasure Chest at ERWA in July which means it will be there permanently. So writing is ticking along.

Fingers crossed

2006-05-18T20:42:00.000+10:00

I'm going to the Romance Writers of America conference in Atlanta in July this year. I'm not sure I'm a romance writer at the moment, but I've booked my ticket and paid for the conference, so off I go. I'll be part of an Aussie contingent cheering on several local lassies both in the RITA (an award for published authors) and the Golden Heart (an award for unpublished authors).

Anne Gracie, Bronwyn Jameson, Liz Fielding, Marion Lennox and Lillian Darcy are in the RITAs and Christine Diehm and Karen Schwartz are in the Golden Heart.

We'll scream like mad if they win, particularly if Christine and Karen win. I've read some of Karen's work, although not the couple she's in the Golden Heart with (yes Karen I was one of your judges in the First Kiss) and she's a terrific writer. Very funny. She's just got a contract with Avon, so luckily we'll all get to read some more of her work.

Good luck to you all!

Busy!

2006-05-17T13:00:00.000+10:00

I've been beside myself with busy-ness lately. Paid work is busy, personal life is busy, writing is suffering, although not as badly as I thought it would. I'm plugging away at an odd story about a hooker with a heart of gold. Sounds like a dreadful cliche but she's in my head so her story needs to be told. And another idea is brewing about sex and taboos. What if in a parallel world a lot of what we think of as sexually illicit (like having sex on the peak hour bus) was not only not illicit but required. Any form of privacy would be seen as a sin.

Lots of ideas spinning around in my head. Must have something to do with being busy.

Pablo Neruda

2006-05-08T08:15:00.000+10:00

I bought 100 Love Sonnets by Pablo Neruda as a birthday present for a friend yesterday, but I couldn't give it up. So I gave him Paris was Yesterday by Janet Flanner and got lost in words for a while.

Sonnet 52 by Pablo Neruda

You sing, and your voice peels the husk
of the day's grain, your song with the sun and sky,
the pine trees speak with their green tongue:
all the birds of the winter whistle.

The sea fills its cellar with footfalls,
with bells, chains, whimpers,
the tools and the metals jangle,
wheels of the caravan creak.

But I hear only your voice, your voice
soars with the zing and precision of an arrow,
it drops with the gravity of rain,

your voice scatters the highest swords
and returns with its cargo of violets:
it accompanies me through the sky.

Class is in

2006-05-03T20:35:00.000+10:00

Leon Wieseltier, the literary editor for The New Republic, observes:

“Sex is a spiritual obligation. It makes up for the poverty of bourgeois experience. We're too late for the Spanish Civil War. We missed the landing at Omaha Beach. But still we need to know what we're capable of. So it is in the realm of private life that we have to risk ourselves, to disclose ourselves, to vindicate ourselves; and the more private, the more illuminating. Our theater of self-discovery is smaller. And in this lucky but shrunken theater, the bedroom looms very large. It is the front line, the foxhole.

The bedroom is where people who live otherwise safe lives can learn how cowardly or courageous they are, what their deepest and most dangerous desires are, whether they can follow the unreason within them to what it, too, can teach. Tolstoy said that modern tragedy should be set in the bedroom.”

Discuss.

Cautious optimism

2006-05-02T17:54:00.000+10:00

I wrote 1,200 words this morning on an erotic story that had become a bit stalled. The key was changing my routine and writing long hand away from my computer. No internet distractions, no going back and editing.

It's such a relief. Feels like the drought has been broken. I hope so anyway.

Here is a picture of the Jamison Valley with the Three Sisters on the left.

It's only a few kilometers from where I live. I'm very lucky.

Spezi update

2006-05-02T08:09:00.000+10:00

An update on the Spezi imprisonment situation in Italy from Sarah Weinman. I hope he writes a book about it, but then it might get him into more hot water with the Italian authorities ...

Frustration

2006-05-01T11:57:00.000+10:00

There's nothing worse than getting some way into a novel and finding the wretched thing is faulty and a great whole chunk is missing. I was on page 84 of Laura Lippmann's By a Spider's Thread, enjoying it too, when it leapt to page 189. A desperate riffle through the rest of the book, hoping it was just out of order, revealed many pages missing. Bad enough when it's any book, but when it's a crime novel it's infuriating. Made worse by the fact I'd bought it at Better Read Than Dead, a great bookshop in Newtown, but unfortunately, an hour and half from where I live.

Luckily they have a reciprocal arrangement with Megalong Books, another great bookshop and local to me. So I could return it but they didn't have any in stock so I could only get my money back. Or in this case buy another book which was Safety by Tegan Bennett Daylight, a local writer.

But it's so frustrating! This is when ebooks come in handy because I can download it from Fictionwise. Now I have a PDA I don't have to be stuck to a computer to read it. Sigh of relief.

Feeling lazy..

2006-04-27T20:48:00.000+10:00

... so can't think of much to say. But you could go and look at some beautiful art pictures of nude people here.

This is an example by Georgio Stashov.

Birthday!

2006-04-21T07:13:00.000+10:00

It's mine today along with the Queen (who turns 80), Charlotte Bronte, Iggy Pop, Anthony Quinn, Andie McDowell and Robert Smith, the lead singer from The Cure.

And these other romance writers. Stephanie L Smith, Sandi Brackeen and Angelle Trieste. Pop along and wish them a happy birthday.

Job application

2006-04-18T23:00:00.000+10:00

I hate, hate, hate them. It's like being back at school again. I'll be doing that for the next few days.

In the last week, autumn has hit. Where I live is full of European trees like maples, birches and liquid ambers. The colours are extraordinary. And the weather's been clear and cool. It makes me want to read poetry and watch old black and white movies.

Tinkering

2006-04-13T21:26:00.000+10:00

Ok so I should be writing. But it's Easter and I'm not going to work for four days so I feel like playing. So I'm tinkering with fonts and colours.

It's autumn here which is my favorite time of year. Easter, cooler weather, trees turning and my birthday all happen at around the same time.

I'm working on two stories. I hope to get one finished tomorrow and find an ending for the other one. Then I want to write some good, sweaty sex. Mainly as a writing exercise in description but also to get back in touch with some of my baser instincts. If I come up with anything interesting I'll post it here.

Writer harassment in Italy

2006-04-11T21:08:00.000+10:00

Sarah Weinman has a post about Douglas Preston and Mario Spezi's legal troubles in Italy. You can read all about it here. They were collaborating on a book about an Italian serial killer and ran into trouble with the Italian authorities because they suggested a great deal of bungling went on in the investigation. Preston was arrested and now Spezi is in custody.

Sarah's post has contact details where you can write to the Italian authorities with your concerns.

Literature and Romance

2006-04-11T08:15:00.000+10:00

On Friday there was an article in the Sydney Morning Herald about the reading patterns of men and women. No surprise that women read books about relationship (Austen, the Bronte sisters, etc) while men, if they read fiction at all, read authors full of existential angst (Camus, Salinger etc). Sure, it’s a gross generalisation but on the whole, it’s probably true. The writer made the point that all the major writing awards like the Booker are run by men while the main readership is women. It was ever thus.

One writer’s festival that’s run by a woman is the Sydney Writer’s Festival to be held in May. The program came out on Saturday and has, as usual, very little in the way of genre writing and none on romance or erotica. I don’t think I saw anything on science fiction either. Some on crime and quite a bit on writing for young people.

While I never expect romance or erotica to be taken seriously by the literary establishment, I still don’t get why they aren’t the least bit curious about why women buy romance in droves. Do they think we’re all suffering from false consciousness so should just be ignored as an embarrassment? This strange avoidance of analysing why women read romance seems a great subject for some enterprising feminist cultural theorist.

Some work has already been done, and I see that RWAmerica is funding some research in this area (Empowerment versus Oppression: 21st Century Views on Romance Novels edited by Sally Goade and to be published by Cambridge Scholars Press – RWA provided a grant to Jayashree Kamble whose research will appear in this anthology), but there is a curious lack of interest in the cultural studies area. Fifty percent of paperback sales are women’s fiction (read romance). There’s a good thesis in there.

New stories

2006-04-01T12:41:00.000+11:00

I've got a new story up call Angel at ERWA. I've also got a flasher which is a bit of fun (scroll down).

And I've got a longer flasher at Flashing in the Gutters. There are some great short, noir/crime pieces here worth having a browse through.

Except for the flasher at ERWA both of these stories are dark. Prisons and the illegal sex trade. No romance to be seen.

By contrast, I read Loretta Chase's Lord Perfect during the week and thought it wonderful. She does witty and yearning so well. Pity about the silly cover.

I was thinking the other day why it is that I love dark, gritty, spare writing that can be difficult and intellectual, as well as unashamed happily-ever-after frivolity (and want to write both).

When I was about six or seven, my mother took me and my sisters into Town to see a movie. The Sound of Music had just been released so that was our aim. But the queues where impossible so in desperation she took as to see another movie that she though would be suitable. It turned out to be Zorba the Greek. She realised it wasn't suitable at all, but I think was to exhausted to worry and in the end enjoyed seeing an intelligent movie with her four children in tow.

It was full of what they now call "adult themes." I was bored through most of it but came awake with a start when Irene Papas and Alan Bates started doing something very erotic involving no clothes and him grasping her around the hips.

Later on in the movie she got stoned (the rock variety not the green vegetable matter variety). You couldn't have a woman enjoying herself after all. But I was aroused and fascinated.

Eventually I got to see the Sound of Music and loved that too. It inspired a whole series of amateur dramatics in my family and I got to play Maria.

I guess I learned early on that the pleasure of reading, viewing and listening can be experienced in so many different ways and fulfill so many different needs. And I was lucky that, on the whole, my family wasn't bigoted and anti-intellectual. I was bought up a Catholic and had a standard Catholic education, but it wasn't too rigid. While as a family we had lots of problems, at least we weren't discouraged from thinking and talking.

So I'm happy to read and write as the mood takes me. Sometimes it's about paedophiles and sometimes it's about aristocratic Lords. A nice, good balance.

The writing life

2006-03-28T18:46:00.000+11:00

At some stage someone asks you, "How long have you been writing?" or "Why do you write?"

These two questions never fail to make be feel inadequate. Answer to the first question, seriously, for two and a bit years. I tried a number of times in my life and always gave it up. I'm not one of those writers who's always written and feel bereft and half a person if they can't write. Instead I was (and am) one of those writers who wants the words to flow perfectly from my fingers onto the page. For a long time I thought if I couldn't achieve that, I wasn't a writer.

So I lived in my fantasies. Elaborate alternate lives that were a solace from my own. I'm not sure why I decided I had to write. Maybe something about getting older and feeling a whole part of me had never been expressed.

That partially explains the second question, why do I write. Again I'm not the kind of writer who responds with, "But I have to. I have no choice!" It was more a conscious decision to peel off the layers of my self and get to some elemental core that was struggling for expression. A type of therapy I think.

It's developed since then, thankfully. Ones therapeutic ramblings don't make for interesting reading. But I can't imagine not writing now. Even when I'm stuck, I constantly think about it. It's become essential to me but often not very easy.

The evils of feminism

2006-03-23T06:56:00.000+11:00

Thanks to Bitch Phd for this link to Ilyka Damon who's blogging against staw feminism. Follow the trail to get to her post on why feminism gets blamed for everything that goes wrong in the world today, particularly the phenomenon of eight year olds who are into porn chic.

New erotic romance author

2006-03-22T07:46:00.000+11:00

My fellow Romance Writers of Australia and Passionate Ink colleague Denise Rossetti has just been picked up by Ellora's Cave. Her two books Gift of the Goddess and Tailspin will be out soon so keep and eye out for them. I've read bits and they are fantastic. Romantic erotic fantasy. Denise is an incredible world builder and her work has solid plot and characterisation as well as imaginative and very erotic sex. Go and check out her site and read some excerpts. There aren't many Australian Ellora's Cave authors so we hope she's starting a trend.

Why haven't I posted much lately? I'm brewing and thinking. I'm determined to break this creative drought and my way of doing that is to think a lot. I've started a new short story and I'm gradually getting back to the wip with some new ideas.

Internet all fixed!

2006-03-14T18:17:00.000+11:00

Finally! So now I feel like I've really moved. I'm all set up properly and feel like I'm connected to the world again. You'd think not being able to check my mail in the morning would free up some time for writing but not as much as I wanted. I have been reading a lot though, which somehow I needed to do. This morning was the first time I did some serious writing and if felt great.

Good news as well. My story "Laying Down the Law" has been accepted into an anthology of the best of writing from ERWA called CREAM. And I'll get paid! My first time in print and my first payment for my writing. A red letter day. Not sure when it's out but I won't fail to post the date here. I'll also have a 100 word flasher published called "Domestic Bliss."

And another story called "Angel" will appear in the Story Gallery at ERWA from 1 April. So all these bits of good news makes me think maybe I can write after all.

I'm sure all newish writers are told to write everyday, but sometimes I feel paralysed about this because my wip or my short story has come to a halt. Then I feel guilty because I'm not writing. But I read someone (can't remember who) the other day who said just write anything. Letters, journal entries, anything that makes you think and create. That seems to work for me. When I feel stuck on a story or a longer piece, I write about nothing much and something emerges. It's a good piece of advice to remember.

Moving

2006-03-09T18:48:00.000+11:00

What a nightmare it is! Moved on Saturday, only just got the phone transfered and still the internet account isn't working. Grrr! So I'm using someone else's computer which just doesn't feel right. Lots of email to catch up on, lots of blogs to read, not much writing happening. Although I'm thinking. At least that's something.

I've read Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking which was moving and sad, J D Robb's Origin in Death which I think is her best so far and am in the middle of Nabokov's Lolita which I can't belief I haven't read before this. I'ts sly and wicked and funny. Also reading Memory in Death which after a hideous day at work I can sink into with relief.

Feel the need for short stories. What are you reading?

Library Thing

2006-03-02T20:36:00.000+11:00

My obsession continues. If you look at the left sidebar and scroll down, you'll see a cartoon/logo designed by Sara Donati for The Library Thing. I have 885 books entered and have another couple of bookshelves to go. I did become ruthless but just couldn't let go of some.

If you go to my profile and click on the link that says author cloud in the upper right hand corner, you'll see what I read. Amanda Quick, Doris Lessing and Margery Allingham seem to be the biggest. Which is strange because I had no idea I had so many Amanda Quicks. Last year I had a bad flu that seem to drag on forever so I think I bought a whole lot and went to bed with her.

It's been great going through all my books. I see some that I must read again, particularly some of the biographies. I remember loving Arthur Miller's autobiography Timebends and Katherine Graham's too. But where to get the time?

Tomorrow I start moving house. I may be gone for a while. Didn't some famous Antarctic explorer say that and never came back? Moving is a bit like that.

More on fear and crits

2006-03-01T06:49:00.000+11:00

In this post I talked about fear and Magdelena said this:

I completely relate to your comments regarding creativity. I have brief spells where words flow but they are interspersed with a black hole of self doubt and fear. It doesn't help when people make negative comments, that's food for the damned inner critic.

I have a tendency to seek out crits for my work before it's really ready for feedback. Partially because I need someone to tell me I'm doing OK. I've resolved not to do this anymore because I'm not yet resilient enough. Crits tend to throw me into a spin and take me away from what I want to do. I'm not saying they are not useful, but I think I have to be in a space where I can hear them and not take them personally. Sometimes I can't do that. Although curiously I have no trouble with crits from ERWA. But like lots of other romance writers I enter RWA contests and have had mixed success. I'm holding off from them for a while until I've worked out exactly what I want to write. That continues to be a problem for me, I just don't think I have a romance voice. I get pulled more and more to a dark, crime/thriller style of writing.

On that note, one of my favourite places at the moment is Flashing in the Gutter, where you can read some great flash, fairly noir fiction. And Sarah Weinman reports here that Julia Kristeva has published a detective novel. Since I agonised over her writing in my university days, I'm curious as to whether she can pull it off. Possible another to add to my out of control TBR pile.

I've changed ......

2006-02-26T07:50:00.000+11:00

... and I'm still mucking around with formats so hang in there. I wanted a three column blog and Caz has one that I like. But I'll probably change the colours and fonts. Still not writing, but I have a lot on my mind. I have to make a decision today whether or not to apply for a new job and I'm moving house next week. I'm overwhelmed with the logistics of that. It's the only time in my life I regret I'm a big reader. Books are irritating things to move aren't they?

Computer Hell

2006-02-23T21:12:00.000+11:00

On Sunday night I was browsing the net looking for ideas to tart up this blog and clicked on a link only to watch in horror as a virus infected my computer. I tried everything to get around it but ended up taking it to the computer doctor and spending several hundred dollars getting it fixed and getting proper virus protection.

It was my own fault. I knew I didn't have proper software installed but kept putting off doing anything about it. A hard lesson to learn. It's amazing how bereft I felt not having my computer. I have access to one at work but can't browse all my favorite sites on that and can't really do any writing. Not that I'm doing much anyway.

So now it's back and I can breathe a sigh of relief. But I'm still not writing. Some hard thought has to be done about why. I keep coming back to fear, fear of not being good enough. No matter how much I know that I'm a beginner and I won't get better unless I write, the punitive editor inside is very strong. And very wily.

I would love to be one of those people who've always written so that's like breathing to them. It's not like that for me, it's much more a process of struggle. Why do I want to continue writing it it's so hard? I think because when it works, when the words flow, it's such a fantastic feeling. I get energised and believe all is right in my corner of the world.

I just need to get to that space again. Come to think of it, the computer virus is symbolic of my out of kilter sense of creativity. Something's infected it and I need to take it off to the creativity doctor. Hmm.

Good advice...

2006-02-19T19:09:00.000+11:00

... from Kristen who tells me Blogger might delete my blog if I don't have the heading up there. So it's back. I'd hate to loose the whole lot. While I'm here I'll have a quick moan about the weather. Sorry, but it's hot again. This has been the hottest January on record in my part of the world, about 3 degrees hotter than it should be. Makes me even more worried about global warming. I had to stay overnight in Sydney last night and it was hell. Humid and sticky.

By the way, Kristen thinks she's uncovered the identity of Miss Snark. Let her know what you think.

Keziah Hill

Migrating over to Wordpress...

Anzac Day and true romance

Irritated (maybe not totally)

ERWA blog

Forgot the heroines!

Claiming the Courtesan

Who were those heroes?

Thursday Thirteen

A bit frantic

Desire's Dream is now out!

Review of Ghostly Desires

Ellora's Cavemen

More poetry

Reading poetry

Leap of Fate out now at Cobblestone Press!

Blue Mountains Music Festival

Nautilus

Psychopathy and writing

Thursday Thirteen

Newsletter

My desk

Survey on erotica

Thinking and writing and the Queen

Academic research and romance

Fixed up now....

Phew!

Not living in Sydney

Autumn is coming

Tailspin is out!

It's morning now

Overwhelmed

New Releases from Cobblestone Press

Splash out!

Insight

Chipping the story from a rock

New Stores at ERWA

Fiddling again

Tagged

Back on Track

On being a spinster

New web site

Sold to Cobblestone Press!

Happy New Year!

The day before New Years Eve

Romance Diva Blogs

My 2006 Reading in Review

So far the festive season leaves a lot to be desired

Re design

Meandering around writing

Ghostly Desires out now!

Uncommon frost

I got Cover Snarked!

Another ebook to buy!

Go and buy Gift of the Goddess!

Reading and writing

Good Intentions

Fantasy v reality

Another Aussie writer published!

Life does tend to get in the way

New stories

Really back this time

Real life

I'm baaack!

In the USA

Sold to Extasy!

Website up!

Changing web site

News and music

Ups and downs

Take a quiz

Fear and the need to keep going

Good news!

Good advice

It's not summer here

Slow but sure

Fingers crossed

Busy!

Pablo Neruda

Class is in